


The Big Bad Witcher

by fannishliss



Series: Dandelion Music, or, songs Jaskier might write [11]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Big Bad Wolf - Freeform, Fairy Tale Retellings, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Original Song, Red Riding Hood Elements, Roleplay, Song - Freeform, bardcore, basket of goodies, bread in pants, it's not really bardcore though it's an original song and it's a ukelele
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26357455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannishliss/pseuds/fannishliss
Summary: Jaskier meets a Wolf while skipping through the woods with his basket of goodies.  Now with bonus Song!!
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Dandelion Music, or, songs Jaskier might write [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1686742
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A little fun ficlet to get back to work after Labor Day!

Merrily skipping through the woods in his fine new boots that folded down just a little above the knee, Jaskier sang a little song, his basket full of goodies swinging carelessly from his fingers. 

_“Through the pretty woods,_

_On a delightful day!_

_I serve up the goods,_

_As I merrily go my way!”_

Jaskier thought it over, and stopped for a moment to rearrange his brand new, bright red traveling cloak. It was a brilliant scarlet, tightly woven wool, thickly felted, with a fine inner layer of pale golden silk, and a generous hood to keep out the wind and rain. 

A light fall breeze skittered through the trees, and leaves danced about on the forest floor, dappled in brilliant fall sunlight. 

_“Through the pretty woods,_

_Dappled in sparkling light!_

_How I dance and play,_

_with my twinkling eyes so bright!”_

Laying it on a little thick, Jaskier laughed to himself, and decided to double down. 

_“Tra la la la lay!_

_Merry fox and deer_

_Dance in the pretty woods!  
Capering without fear!” _

The baked goods in the basket really were something heavenly.Fresh from the oven, steaming with the warm smell of cinnamon, butter, sugar, baked apples, fig jam, and a good hunk of cheese just to go alongside. Jaskier’s mouth watered just thinking about it. 

_“With a basket of tasty goods,_

_I carelessly wend my way!_

_Through the pretty woods,_

_on a most serendipitous day!”_

“Hello, little bard,” said a deep, growly voice. 

“Oh!” Jaskier said, skipping back a trifle. 

Suddenly the path before Jaskier was blocked by a massive, hulking brute.Long silver hair hung in tangles to his shoulders.His eyes glittered gold, and his teeth were strangely sharp as he grinned his hello. 

“Hello,” Jaskier said, with trepidation. “I don’t usually see anyone along this path.” 

“Really,” the big man said.He took a step closer to Jaskier, seeming to loom over the bard, even though he was barely an inch taller. He reached one enormous arm up, and lazily leaned himself against a tree, baring his sharp teeth in a rakish smile.His black linen shirt was unbuttoned nearly to his waist, revealing a pelt of silver hair. 

“I’m just on my way to deliver these goodies!” Jaskier shouted, clearing his throat. 

“You ought to be more careful, walking through these woods alone. You never know what might be lurking.”The man’s deep rumble seemed to resound in Jaskier’s own chest.

“Or who?” Jaskier squeaked. 

“What do you mean?” the man growled. 

“Surely,” Jaskier stammered, “you’re a who, not a what.” 

“I’m a Witcher,” the man — the Witcher — rumbled. 

“Oh,” Jaskier said, his eyes wide.He caught sight of the medallion nestling nicely in the Witcher’s silver chest hair. “You’re a Wolf!” 

Jaskier reached out toward the medallion with one curious finger, but then shied back from the big, bad Wolf with blue eyes wide and lips trembling. 

“Yes,” the Witcher growled. 

Jaskier couldn’t look away as the Witcher’s golden eyes focused on him, the slitted pupils dilating round, like a cat about to pounce. 

“What big eyes you have,” Jaskier breathed. 

“The better to see you with, my dear,” said the big bad Wolf, his lips curved in a cruel smirk that just barely showed the one fang. 

“And what big hands you have,” Jaskier gasped, his heart pounding. 

“The better to grab you with, my dear,” said the Wolf, both big and bad, his golden eyes glittering. 

“Rude!” Jaskier exclaimed.“Grab me with, isn’t that a bit presumptuous?” 

“Not if you’re going to go traipsing through the woods, dressed up in fancy boots and a traveling cloak and nothing else…” 

“Do you like the cloak?” Jaskier asked coquettishly. “It’s very high quality, I ordered it from my tailor in Toussaint.…” 

“hmmm,” the Witcher grumbled. 

“Oh! What big ARMS you have,” Jaskier said quickly. 

“Yes, the better to grab you with!” Geralt said, wrapping them firmly around his bard. 

“Geralt, you already said grab,” Jaskier complained, but really he was not at all annoyed with Geralt’s strong embrace. 

“What a hungry mouth I have,” Geralt mumbled, kissing Jaskier along the jaw. 

“Isn’t that my line?”Jaskier answered between kisses. 

“Hmmm, I thought you’d be running away by now,” Geralt said, “and I was going to chase you.” 

“True,” said Jaskier.“But this is rather nice, don’t you think?” 

The bard and the Witcher kissed rapturously, as the sun beamed merrily down and the wind whispered sweetly through the trees. 

“Oh! What a big roll of bread you have in your pants!” cried Jaskier. 

“It’s not bread,” Geralt rumbled. 

“Then why is it rising?” Jaskier said with a clever grin. 

“Run…” Geralt warned… 

And the red-cloaked bard took off running through the woods, shrieking like a devil, with his beloved big bad Witcher chasing close behind.


	2. the song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is a recording of Jaskier's little skipping song.

[Follow this link to hear the song on Soundcloud. ](https://soundcloud.com/user-576818933/through-the-pretty-woods)

_**“Through the Pretty Woods, or, As a Bard went Skipping”** _

Through the pretty woods, on a delightful day!

I serve up the goods, as I merrily go my way!

Through the pretty woods, dappled in sparkling light!

How I dance and play, with my twinkling eyes so bright!

Tra la la la lay! Merry fox and deer

dance in the pretty woods, capering without fear!

With a basket of tasty goods, I carelessly wend my way!

Through the pretty woods, on a most serendipitous day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an original song, with lyrics, music and performance by Fannishliss.  
> Please feel free to enjoy the song and share the link, but please do not copy the song to any other site.
> 
> If you would like to hear more of my original music for Geralt and Jaskier, please see my series, "songs Jaskier might write" -- some of which are collabs and some I wrote the words as well. :)
> 
> Please leave a comment if you like it!

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you liked it!
> 
> The tune now exists!  
> https://soundcloud.com/user-576818933/through-the-pretty-woods


End file.
